David L. Kahn’s weblog
Dreaming as a way of lifeArchive for August, 2007
Forever a Child
If I should live a million nights
A child I still will be
For time in front
Or time behind
Is all the same to me
And if your twilight links to mine
Our souls on the horizon will meet
For the old man in front
Or the child behind
Neither, both, repeat
The Spyglass / Clocktower / Lighthouse
I am in what looks like the inside of a light house, but it is made of wood almost as if it is a very large model. I refer to it mentally as a tower. There are different levels that I reach by climbing up wooden ladders. There are others going with me but I don’t see them. There are Chinese military here with berets and I know their uniforms have some orange in them. I am in the front of the group and we are going to be executed. Oddly the military is acting nice and seem to want us comfortable. I’m a bit nervous yet not terrified about my fate. As I climb, one level has a wooden structure above me that I have to push out of the way to make room for me and the others to climb through to this level of the tower. I know that I can’t try to make a break for it. These are military people and I’d never get away, and then my death would be far worse. I get to the top level, which has plywood floors and is like a room under construction. There is a horizontal ladder about waist high in which approximately the second half of it hangs over an open area. I, and I assume the others after me, are to climb onto this ladder and go over the edge falling to our deaths. I think about this, how I will get the nerve to actually go over, what it will feel like when I fall, and I assume that death will be instant as I hit the bottom. I’m not rushed to do this. I think to myself that they should have some medication to give people to calm them, but then I figure I’d rather have a clear mind. Standing by the ladder is a large white man that looks like C. He is just standing there as though he is doing his job. I run up to push him and he does not budge, nor does he seem bothered by this. He just continues to stand there. There is a hallway that reminds me of the hallway in the basement on Decatur, except this is wooden as well. I stand at the front of this hallway thinking about my situation. I think that the only way I can get out of this would be if this is a dream. I think about that and everything seems so real, but I still question it. A woman of perhaps 30 with blonde wavy hair comes around the corner to the other side of the hallway. I ask her if this is a dream. She shakes her head affirmatively. I then feel like it is a dream and I test by flying down the hallway and back. Indeed I can fly, and I now know it to be a dream. Even though none of this is real, I still feel that I need to conclude this dream. I go to the man that looks like C. and this time I can pick him up easily. There is now a kitchen sink in this wooden room and I put him upside down into the sink, where he becomes much smaller and I put him down the disposal. There is another man behind me who is facing away from me so I don’t see his face. I pick him up and turn him upside down into the sink as well. He also shrinks and I put him down the disposal. I don’t see any military there anymore and the place now looks clean. I jump through a window. There is no glass shatter; I just go through the window. I feel myself fall and as I’m on my way down I realize that I just did this without worry thought prior to the jump. I felt it but I knew I would be fine and I landed softly on my feet. On the way down this tower now looked like a city tower and I land on a sidewalk. I look at my surroundings. I see trees, or mainly the branches of trees. Through them a distance away up high I see a window. I think of this as being the neighbors and sort of brush it off, but then I take note of it briefly. The window is arched at the top and has some decor. The bottom rectangular part of the window has 3 vertical sections. It is an attractive window and I see a green glow through it. I take off and fly. I am exhilarated, both because I am lucid and also because just a few minutes ago I thought I was going to die and here I am now so totally alive. I quickly say, “Show me what I need to see. Show me what I need to see God!” I fly seeing just the sky briefly and then am falling face down towards the ground with my vision going to gray. I feel as though I am awakening and I feel the transition. I fall slowly towards a bed with my eyes closed and I feel like I land softly into the bed and then continue to sink somewhat into it. I have a feeling in my chest of transition between asleep and awake. As I settle into the bed I believe I wake up, but it is a false awakening. I am in a hotel room with Chris and it is early in the morning, perhaps 4:00 a.m. I tell Chris that I just had the most amazing lucid dream. I begin to tell her about it. As I’m telling her about it I refer to the tower as a spyglass or a clock tower. I know this isn’t quite the right terminology but I’m having trouble remembering the word lighthouse. Eventually I do, telling her rather accurately a description of it including all the wood and the wooden structure which I had to move in order to get to the next level. The exception to my accuracy is that I describe it as a lighthouse so that she’d get the idea that it has a spiral staircase. Chris uses another word to describe it. I can’t remember what and it isn’t totally accurate, but it is close enough that I know she has a good visual image. The phone rings and it is CVS Pharmacy calling her. This interrupts my telling of the dream and Chris talks for a minute. I’m tired too and would like to get back to sleep. It seems awfully early for the pharmacy to call. She talks for a minute and then abruptly ends the call. I now hear what seems like arguing outside of our room in the hallway. This is a big room and the bed now faces a different direction. I think there is a large quilt on the bed. We are now house guests staying in a guest room at M.’s house. I realize now that she and her husband aren’t arguing. The dogs have to go outside and M’s husband is trying to get them to go. The door opens and M. comes in wearing pink pajamas like the ones Amanda sometimes wears, but adult sized. There is mattress on the floor and I know there is another in the house. A dog comes in. It is their dog but looks like Sadie. I hear M’s husband but he and the other dog, who I think of as looking like Jenna, don’t come into the room. This is all keeping me awake. I then actually do wake up and I wonder why I hadn’t written down this dream, realizing after a few moments that I had been sleeping this whole time.
Lao Tzu
Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream.
Flying With the Dancing Penguins
© 2006 David L. Kahn
We dream to fly, and we fly in our dreams. Those of us who have experienced flight dreams know the sense of peace and freedom. The sun is bright and the air crisp. All the colors are unusually vivid. The feeling can only be described as exhilarating as you leave the earth and…
Your belly scrapes the ground while you try to fly superman style because you are having trouble holding onto your picnic basket filled with empty jugs of motor oil, which for some reason is necessary in order to take flight.
Flying dreams, just like any other, have a spectrum ranging from scary and frustrating, to fun and spiritually enlightening. You could say that you are attempting to accomplish something good in each of these dreams, just more successfully in some than in others. Our minds may be telling us to take a different flight plan, take off from a different location, or to keep on soaring to the heavens. Or, perhaps, maybe we just need to leave the room…
I walk into a very tall room, perhaps 25 feet high. The walls are concrete block, so there is no natural light. I see what looks like a choir along with a conductor, except that the choir is made up entirely of penguins. The conductor has the penguins dancing back and forth in unison. Somehow these penguins can fly. I can fly by grabbing hold of a penguin and flapping my arms, which I do. We take off, but since we are inside there is a limit to how high we can go. I also find that that flapping my arms is very tiring and I can only stay up in the air for short periods of time. It is fun, but too exhausting.
The need to hold on to something in order to fly is very common. Even in lucid dreams it can be hard to get off the ground, although it is in lucid dreams that I began to understand the reason. Not long ago I had two lucid dreams in a short period of time, each time choosing to fly. In the first dream I grabbed my son’s hand and flew high over the trees with him. I began to have some doubt about my flying ability, and I felt myself drop with the same feeling in my stomach that I might get on a roller coaster. I realized that my doubt caused this drop, and with that thought I gained control of my flight. In the second dream I felt myself being lifted into the air by something that I could not see. As I reached several hundred feet I began to have that same feeling of doubt. Again I dropped with a nervous feeling in my stomach. I knew that I needed to let go of doubt, and I trusted this unseen force not to drop me.
So, what’s the deal with these penguins?
For one thing, penguins can’t fly. They also don’t dance in unison and hang out in tall concrete block rooms. In other words, I am making myself reliant on the wrong kind of bird for help, and I am trying to take flight in a place where there is a low limit on the level that I can reach. The penguins dancing in unison represent all of the “non-flyers” acting alike, and following the instructions of someone else. I am too much of a free thinker, and this could never work for me.
Over time, I went from flying with penguins to holding onto a kite and, later, being lifted by unseen arms. Despite the exhausting flight, I treasure these penguins. The dream was actually quite humorous, and that doesn’t happen by accident. Although I was being told to reconsider my flight plan, I was also being told to lighten up and laugh. I wish that I had a picture of this dream. It would make for a great image.
A Snake in the Grass
A snake in the grass
Fenced too, alas
To brave it, not me
Though the lesson I see
That this, too, shall pass
Fear the rattle, fear not
The iron of dread I’ve wrought
For one thousand plus one
One thousand-two not be done
To brave the answer I’ve sought
Now barefoot tranquility
Spawns new ability
My body remained
In this space self-contained
My teacher always beside me
Exit the gate, unlocked
A fork in the road I have walked
Carrying the teacher as child
Eclipsed frown has now smiled
The rattle still feared, but not blocked
White Tiger II
I have taken a leap, realizing this is a dream. Other people are there, but I do not see them right now. I float in the air, perhaps flying just a bit. I think about becoming floating consciousness. It partially works. My body is invisible and it does not feel like a full body. I feel a shape to me that is more horizontal. I am a few feet wide or so and I am not perfectly straight. I believe the left side is a bit higher than the right. I may have a head too, or at least I’m seeing as though through normal eyes. I feel unseen arms lift me. Recalling my previous lucid dream of unseen arms lifting me, I am less afraid of falling this time. As in that previous dream, I say “Show me what I need to see.” I go over some trees that have an open circle or oval area in the middle. There is long light-brown grass and some small hills in this area. I see two white tigers and note this mentally. I keep floating and initially I see what I think are some elephants, but then see that they are rats in a group. I go further and see two more white tigers. I have a thought beyond “Show me what I need to see.” I say something like “I am love” or “I am peace” The dream continues past lucidity. I am walking on a busy street and cross it at an intersection. I know a man there. I think it is Robert Waggoner initially but he either changes to someone else or he becomes someone in addition to Robert. This other man is a fairly young man, I’d say in his twenties. I try to tell Robert/the-other-man about my lucid dream. I feel within this dream that the lucid part was very powerful. I want him/them to hear it but they are walking fast and I have little opportunity to tell my dream. I don’t think I ever get through telling all of it. The dream continues to another scene, where my memory of it fades.
Show Me Why I Need to Fly
© 2007 David L. Kahn
Taking flight upon awakening in the dream state is something that almost any experienced lucid dreamer will tell you they’ve done, often many times. The sense of freedom, along with the excitement of going beyond what is possible in the physical world, is a reasonable explanation for why so many of us take to the sky upon awakening in the dream world. But, are all lucid dream flights decisions made entirely by our conscious minds, or could it be that our subconscious minds drop hints suggesting that we use this opportunity to fly in order to symbolically show us something that we need to know?
Despite being aware that they are dreaming, many lucid dreamers describe difficulty flying, including trouble getting off the ground or ability to go where they want. Other times, the scenery is unexpected or obstacles get in the way of a smooth flight. Some report turbulence, while others report spiritual experiences. The decision to fly may be “yours”, but it may be your dream “creator” that sets the course.
Last year I had a few dreams in which I quickly made the decision to fly upon becoming lucid. In each case the flight started nice, but I later began to drop from the sky, eventually regaining control of the flight. Within the following example, I noticed the pattern and understood the reason for the troubled flight.
I am walking down an empty street. I see some trees in front of me, of which I take particular notice. One is full with leaves. I suddenly realize that I am dreaming. I believe it is the quiet reflection that I have during walks that causes me to recognize the dream. I take off and fly, going higher than the trees. I come back to the ground and see my son. I hold out my hand and he takes it with his, neither of us saying a word. I take of flying again, this time with my son. We fly for a while together. I begin to have some doubts, not about this being a dream but about my ability to fly. I then start to drop and I feel the sensation of dropping in my stomach. I know that it is my thought that causes me to drop, and then I fly free again. I bring my son back to the ground, and then I take back off to fly some more.
In each of my dreams in this series, I realized that my doubt about my ability to fly is what caused the drop in altitude. I physically would feel the dropping sensation in my stomach, like the feeling of riding on a roller coaster. Even though I knew this was a dream, I still had doubt about my ability. That is what the dream set me up for. I needed to learn to simply trust in my ability, and know that I’d be fine. The flight was a metaphor of freedom and enjoyment, with implications that reached far beyond the lucid dream that I was experiencing.
In a more frustrating dream, I attempted to fly only to find that I couldn’t get out of the building that I was in. It was an old, rickety building with a low ceiling. I knew it was a dream, and yet I couldn’t fly through the ceiling. Each time I tried, I had the sensation of bouncing off the ceiling. Eventually my frustration set in and I attempted to find the exit. This dream begged the question, “Why am I frustrated?” Essentially I was doing the same thing over and over without success. I was able to think of some things in my life that matched up with the idea of repeating a pattern unsuccessfully, of which none was an attempt at Superman-style flying.
Among my flying lucid dream experiences included a dream in which I was completely bored. Here I was lucid, with the entire universe at my hands, and I couldn’t think of anything interesting to do. I took off and flew, but the scenery was very bland. The ground was flat, with no buildings or people anywhere in sight. I remember associating my lack of finding anything interesting to do with the feeling of writer’s block. In fact, it was about writer’s block. I had been stuck on a particular chapter of my book. In the dream, I ended up deciding to come back down to earth and just enjoy the feeling of being lucid, even if I didn’t have anything specifically to do.
In perhaps my strangest example, I was enjoying a nighttime flight through the city. My flight took me between tall buildings, with the city lights below me. It was all great, up until a dream character flew up to me and attempted to assault me. He/she (I never saw the perpetrator’s face) slashed at me with a knife and cut the left shoulder area of my shirt. I ended up getting hold of the knife and I stabbed the character, causing him/her to fall from the sky. Even within a lucid dream, the fight or flight instinct took over – in this case quite literally.
During the day we have numerous thoughts that go through our minds. We tend to notice most those that we consciously create, but if you pay attention you will recognize an almost constant stream of “non-conscious” thoughts, such as daydreams or music. These thoughts, like dreams, can be interpretable. The song lyrics, or emotions you associate with that song, may nudge you towards actions you may not be aware of. Daydreams really aren’t so different than night dreams in this way. If you notice these thoughts while they are occurring, you can then have choice and awareness as to where those thoughts lead, much like your ability to have free will within a lucid dream. In much the same way, your decision to fly within a lucid dream may be a cooperative effort between different levels of consciousness in your mind. Your dream “creator” will place things in your dream, much like the music during the day, and perhaps nudge you towards lucidity. If you indeed do become lucid, the ultimate decision to fly may be done with free will, but it could be that the dream “creator” invented a scene that was ideal for flying, and therefore your first thought was to do so. It could also be that the decision to fly was entirely yours, but the “creator” then adapted to this choice, creating a scenario to teach you something of value.
The next time that you choose to fly in a lucid dream, consider pausing for a moment before you take off. Ask yourself, “Why do I choose to fly?” or maybe better, you could request that the dream “Show me why I need to fly” or “Fly me to where I need to go.” Notice how your flying dreams may be a cooperative effort between your conscious and subconscious. Your decision to fly, along with the scene made by your dream “creator” may be just as interpretable as any non-lucid dream.
The Hawk
From blinding dreams of dark I see
The parts of three, plus me, I’m of
And swings of children in a tree
A hawk soars gently up above
I watch the children run and play
The hawk soars higher toward the west
Nighttime welcomes retired day
The children now lie down to rest
The hawk continues on his flight
With quiet all that’s left below
And on his own glides in the night
Through winds of dreams blown long ago